If you have a brain injury then you will understand this post. People with brain injuries get things confused. Like letters and numbers. It is difficult to explain. Sometimes my brain mixes up actions too. I tire quickly so I’ll write more later.

Others drive around the block for hours or park in the wrong spots and get towed.

Living downtown, parking is always a challenge. The city considers my area of town “impacted”. Surrounded by businesses there just are not enough parking spots. Metered parking is expensive and only good for two hours. Each year residents apply for impacted day time parking permits. These permits allow you to park within a five block radius of your house for 24 hours. Since my office is in my home, every morning I need to go through the parking ritual.

Some mornings I start the hunt at 5:00 A.M. and treat myself to a parking sunrise

You would think there would be a few spots emptied by those who rolled over and left at 2:00 A.M. But no, I run into the individuals just getting home from third shift. Often times I will have a parking spot in site on the opposite side of the street. I race around the bIock. Get back to the spot , and within seconds, out of no where, there will be a car backing into my spot .

So why do I have bad Carma? I have never hit a car bumper parallel parking. But I have plenty of scratches. And at shopping malls, I am so careful getting in and out of my car so I don’t nick the door panel of a car in the next space. I always take my shopping carts back so they don’t roll away and ding doors.. I just don’t get it.

Are some people just lucky?

There are days when I want to get out of the car, wave my arms and scream, didn’t you see me? .. that’s my spot!!

But no, I just keep driving around certain there will be a place for me some where on this block.

Life is f**cked up.

Close your eyes and make it rain, my Dad used to say as he moved my little fingers over the white keys of our baby grand piano. Now smell the air, can you feel the rain on your face?

How does it make you feel? And I would imagine the warm drops on my face.

“Shush” very very quiet now, as we tippy toed up an octave and together we every so gently played. I could hear the rain as it gently hit the ground. I could see all the flower petals with little drops rolling off.

Sometimes I would have to hold my breath just to curb my excitement.

Boom, here comes the thunder, and I would sit and laugh as we moved down the keys of the piano as I slipped off the seat to touch the pedals below.

I am not sure if it was playing the piano, or just being with my Dad. But what ever it was, it made me see more things.

At three, I was very excitable. I guess I still am.

I love my imagination! And I love you Dad.

Thank you Dad — Happy Father’s Day!

And that’s okay.

Everyone has flaws, weaknesses and tiny imperfections in their character. I have many. With the trend in social media it means that I participate more. And that means I am much more vulnerable. Vulnerability is not a weakness. It’s fine to be genuine, or who you really are, and that’s not a flaw either.

Often times I say things that really differs from what I actually mean. Especially in 140 characters. Not everyone can articulate themselves perfectly, but that does not mean they should be silent.

I am learning that perfection does not lead to happiness. I am learning that it really does not matter how many imperfections I try to fix, I will never be perfect.

The first message the Buddha taught was that this world is by its very nature not perfect and if it is not perfect, then we can’t expect perfection.

I have my many shortcomings.

Abraham Joshua Heschel said “only God is perfect.” – and I say, “i suck at spelling”

The steps leading up to the entrance of my home are lined with big clay pots that are filled with an assortment of colorful flowers.

I love being surrounded by flowers. But the best parts of flowers are their petals. There are thousands and thousands of petals in all different colors and patterns.

Did you know that when playing “he loves me, he loves me not”. In saying that daisies have 34 petals.

Some ordinary field daisies only have 33 you know.

Buttercups have five of them, and a Black Eyed Susan have 21 and 34. I like these the best.

And Sunflowers. They are extraordinary. Have you ever noticed the two series of curves? One winding one way and another the other creating a number of spirals not even being the same in each sense. Sometimes I count the number of spirals. Most of the time they are either 21 and 34, either 34 and 55, either 55 and 89.

Mies van der Rohe always said “God is in the details” and it is the detail of petals that I love best.

I’m addicted to twitter. Sometimes I think I know everyone I follow.

My bathroom has 14′ ceilings, built in the 1800s; my house is one of the oldest on the block. At one time there were only four houses on this plot. My shower has a window with a view of the backside of the brick building next door.

I never looked out that bathroom window after first seeing the brick wall. In fact there is a curtain over the window. I never really looked beyond the curtain.

Creativity is often sparked by observation you know, imagination too, often times it is as simple as looking at things in a different way. Or just observing items you would normally take for granted. Like doors handles on old houses. Or ledges above old windows in bathrooms.

Yikes, a mouse!

No, it can’t be a mouse. How could a mouse get up on that ledge?

If it’s a mouse, did it come in through the window? What if we have mice crawling in our walls? That must be why I itch all the time. Fleas, we have fleas! Mice carry rabies don’t they? And I have cats.. wait, it didn’t move, maybe it’s a bat. A scared little bat curled up in a ball. OMG, yes, a bat. Alex, my big blue cat, has been crazy all week. Of course, it is a bat, and I totally ignored the sign Alex was giving me. I just thought it was the “kitty” spring crazy thing. What if it flies away, how will I catch it? Okay, think. Get a towel and a ladder and throw the towel over the bat. No, maybe tape the towel to a stick. I got it, Swiffer, I’ll get my Swiffer duster, tape the duster to a broom handle and then swat him down. I wonder if anyone has made a bat catcher. Wow, I should buy batcatcher.com . Wait, how can it be a bat? The lights are on. Aren’t bats nocturnal? It’s daytime. It’s a mouse, I know it’s a mouse. Should I knock it down? It must be stunned. Grant, my neighbor would know. He has older apartments. I bet he has mouse experience. It’s 5 a.m. I can figure this out. Got it. Get a sheet, put the sheet over the bathtub, knock it down and then wrap it up. Wait, a net, where is my net? Okay, I know, a broom handle.

hmm.. it’s not moving.. how can it be a mouse?

What is this thing perched up on the ledge that I never noticed until today?

I wish I had looked out the window along time ago.

I don’t consider myself a very complex person. I like things to open the way I think they should.

Simple

Clean

Uncluttered

with a slight sense of a desire to return. Not mysterious, but comfortable. Ah.. like I’ve been here before.